A Thanksgiving Celebration

We're about to celebrate another Thanksgiving and most of us of the female persuasion have been preparing the meal for many days now. There are pies and cakes to be baked, not to mention the cornbread for the dressing. There are collard greens to be washed and cut up to cook in the big pot with a side of fat back, sweet potatoes for baking and cranberry compote to prepare. It dawned on me, while looking at a painting of the first Thanksgiving, that the women were standing and serving and men were sitting and eating. Just as I have suspected for years, it all became clear: men invented Thanksgiving. They are the ones who have the most to be thankful for, after all. Thankful for the splendid meals that their women folk prepare, thankful for the 72 hours of football that will consume the hours of a Thanksgiving weekend. Thankful to be able to loosen their belts so they can cram in just one more turkey sandwich and maybe one more slice of sweet potato pie. Thankful for that one long belch that left burp status 45 seconds ago. They are thankful that they have the day off to enjoy this wondrous day of feasting and bonding, an absolute orgy of food, football, and bloated bellies. Oh yes, does anyone doubt it? Men definitely invented Thanksgiving.

I know what most women are thankful for, too. They are thankful to be able to turn off the oven at long last, put everything on the back burner and take a breather before it is time to set the table. Then they are thankful if everyone shows up for dinner on time and doesn't throw off the the whole feeding frenzy. After the demolition of what they laughingly call "the dinner" they are more than thankful if just one person stands up and says, "let me help you with the dishes" and not only won't take no for an answer, but follows through to the drying part. They are thankful that there are at least 72 hours of football to keep the men occupied and out from underfoot, since they have the day off. They are thankful to have two television sets so that they might watch what they want to watch, if and when the mood (and the time) strikes them. And while it was wonderful to have the whole family together for at least one day, they are thankful that when the guests are gone, they can lay down and take a nap. For, now that Thanksgiving is over, it is time to begin all those Christmas preparations, the baking, the shopping, the trimming, the party planning, the house cleaning, the "fence mending" from the fights that broke out during Thanksgiving's big football game. Yes, a long nap is definitely in order after the big day. So ladies, shove the big lug out of the recliner, because as the jingle goes, you deserve a break today!