Monday, May 5, 2008

Frankly, I'd Rather Be in the Yard

I can't believe it is Monday. Mac and I have been in the yard for three days, it seems more like seven. We have been mowing, sowing, and towing...four acres of grass is a lot of grass...we do it in sections and take turns riding the mower. I spent a couple of days sowing Canterbury Bell seeds and now I'll be praying for them to come up. The little riding mower decided that it won't go anywhere anymore till we buy it a new battery, so the big mower had to give it a tow. Then Sunday we put in the little water feature. Mac gave me this little pond set up for Mother's Day last year. We had it installed yesterday. One year. It broke our previous dilly dallying record of six months. I shall explain.

Mama had a lovely Koi pond at the back door. Her Koi were fifteen years old and very tame. They didn't even mind the cats...they would take food from your hand. The sound of water is so very relaxing and I longed for it at home. I had my aquariums and I loved my small fish but I wanted that soothing sound outside, as well. So, Mama bought us a complete pond outfit for our 25th Wedding Anniversary. It was delivered by Sam, the UPS Man and Mac put this huge box in the garage. It was only supposed to be for a week or so. It arrived in September, a month early. Mama was hoping the sounds of rushing water would be a done deal by October 15th. Month after month I would walk into the garage, see the box sitting there and think to myself, we're going to get that pond up and running soon. I nagged Mac as only I can nag but it did no good. Lets see, some of the responses I got from him were as follows: "it's too cold"; "the ground is frozen"; "I don't own a jackhammer"; and finally the classic "I'll do it tomorrow."

Of course tomorrow failed to arrive and so I took matters into my own hands one fine April morning. It was a Saturday as I recall. I had arisen and poured my cup of coffee and was taking it on the porch. I looked over to the side yard and envisioned how my pond would look when I had it finished. Taking my cup of Joe with me, I wandered in the garage, saw the big white box and lugged it out into the drive. I opened it and removed the directions and walked back to the porch to read them. (Contrary to what My Darling Mac tells you, I do not throw out directions to everything as a matter of principle.) So I began to read and I noticed that Mac had his coffee and was joining me. "Whatcha got there?" he mumbled, trying to feign an interest he certainly did not feel at this hour of the morning. "It's about the koi pond...I'm going to put it in today, " I said proudly. He snorted, by all that's holy the man snorted and then he started laughing. Out loud. "No no," was my response. "This is a very simple procedure. It says so right here in these directions, " I declared, waving them under his nose. He smiled knowingly, patted me on my shoulder and said " I'll get to it next weekend, I promise." I assured him that I was quite certain I could do this, and leaving him with his coffee, walked back into the garage and picked up a can of white spray paint. I took the measuring tape and marked out 10 feet and sprayed an x. Then I measured out 12 feet in the other direction and sprayed another x. Then I roughly sprayed the outline of a ginormous lima bean and set to with a will. I took the half moon diggy thingy and cut into the soil at the outline I had made. Mac wandered over to see what I was doing. I was standing on the half moon jumping up and down on it to force it into the dirt. Mac clucked with disgust and taking the diggy thingy from me, finished what I had begun in record time, telling me this was as far as he was going, I was on my own. I smiled prettily at him and told him "fine". I went into the garage and retrieved the little tiller Mac used in the garden. He narrowed his eyes and asked what I thought I was doing. "I'm going to dig my pond with this tiller, " I replied. "You should use the big tiller, that tiller is for maintaining, not digging." I frowned, nodded and put the little tiller aside. I went back into the garage and wrestled the big tiller out of its confines rolling it out to the construction site. "Do you think you could crank it for me?" I asked him. How could he say no? So he cranked it, then he said "let me get this hole started for you." So I let him get the hole started and then of course he had to shovel out the dirt and then he had to lay out the liner and by the time he knew what had happened I had wandered back over to where he stood four feet deep in a hole with the water hose in my hand. And that's how I constructed our first Koi Pond. Any resemblance between me and Tom Sawyer and a certain fence are spot on.


Adla said...

4 acres of mowing, sowing and towing.You amaze me Sandi, I have a tiny little patch which I can't take care of at times :) Those machinery you've mentioned sound to complicated for my understanding hehehehhe do you still have the Koi pond?

SandyCarlson said...

Gardening is such a joy. I hope your Bells are a ringin' soon. God bless!

Merisi said...

Now let's get on that raft and drift downriver to some coffee place,
a mint julep would be fine too.
Methinks you earned both thrice over.

Vee said...

You're a sly one, Sandi, very. And with a procrastinator like your beloved, I'm sure that "sly" has come in handy. Husbands know how to put up their defenses with the nagging, but it's so important for them to prove that they know a better way. :D I hope that this Koi Pond is at your new home!

Unknown said...

Okay, I've decided that if you've not written a book yet you need to. You have a way with your story telling that makes one feel like they are right there watching the whole thing!

My garden (lack of) needs some serious attention - even a little attention would make it look better than it does today.

Hope you have a wonderful day.

Lee said...

OMG! Sandi, that's a HUGE yard! It sounds lovely but I'm glad I don't have to take care of it. And to think you actually cultivate things there instead of planting a wild garden. You are some awesome gardener!

Your first koi pond? How many do you have? What was the new water feature? Do the cats spend time fishing? Do any squirrels visit the water features? I'm sure the birds are there in massive flocks. :)

Please post pictures?


Debra from Bungalow said...

You sure have lots of land to take care of! All that mowing is a chore!

Loved the pond story. Sometimes a gal has to take matters into her own hands ;)
Hugs, DebraK

Anonymous said...

We have done alittle in the yard too. Just so much going on trying to work,SHOP, and get ready for the trip on Friday. lol as you can see the shopping is winning out.

Merisi said...

the river was flowing slower than a snail today, the raft arrived in the woods only moments ago. You are welcome to join me now on a Wild Garlic romp!
(Please excuse the smell! *g*)

Jan said...

Oh darlin' and I thought we had alot with about two acres!! Of course we don't have grass...that makes a difference! LOL! It sounds like you have been so busy with your gardening exploits! And the koi pond story! How funny! You are a sneaky, sneaky ninja, aren't you! LOL!


Jeanne said...

Ah a koi Pond how beautiful! I'm with you onbeing in the yard. We used to have one where we lived before and it was so wonderful to work it..yes work but fulfilling getting your hands in the earth..miss it. RYC: no the goalie wasn't a girl it's all men. Just a sweet moment between manly man teammates that you don't expect.

NeereAnDear said...

Oh girl if you dont stop with these posts I am going to laugh myself right out of the chair...

Once again I envision you starting the work and somehow by the grace of God... they jump right in "cause "snort snort" a woman has no clue what they are doing!! hehehe little do they know



Mary said...

Oh well done Sandi. the weather has been better here and some gardening achieved also at last.

smilnsigh said...

Tee, hee, hee... Love your story!


Carol said...

Hi Sandi,
My God now that is a proper lawn not like my peewee piece!
Does it stay green all year, I ask because that is why my lawn is slowly getting smaller. We are not allowed to use the sprinkler!!
I would love to cut your grass on your sit-on mower, always fancied a go on one.
Carol xx
Sandi, now by special request can we have some pictures...PLEASE.

Kari (GrannySkywalker) said...

I trust you took a good long break after all the work you had to go thru to get Uncle Wally to put that pond in (as he should have done many a moon ago). lol But I have to warn all the women out there who have read this story and think it's easy as pie to emulate. Behold...Wendy (my stepmother)was outside, struggling with the tiller, trying to get her new flower bed done. She stopped and look a break. Dad walked over and asked her if she wanted a drink. She said yes, that would be lovely. Did Dad race into the house to get her an iced tea? No. Did he send HER into the house to get her own drink while he finished up the tilling? Uh-huh. Did he ask her what sort of refreshment he could get her? Nah. He handed her his beer so that she could take a sip. Yeah. Some people are born Tom Sawyers, but unfortunately, some people are born Huck Finns, too.

Love ya'll,

San said...

FOUR acres of grass! Watch it, Sandi, you're going to make us desert rats jealous.

Love your koi pond installation technique. That Southern lady ever-so-subtle delegation is oh-so-devious. And SMART.

Georgina said...

Hi Sandi, I visited after you visited me. I think the thing every woman needs to learn from this is, if a machine can do the "job" then the men should be in control and drive the afore mentioned Jobbie! Me I'd rather nail my willy to a tree if I had one that is. Debs x I'll be back !

Akelamalu said...

Oh I just love how you did all the work! ;)

merry weather said...

Hi Sandi, I think what shines out here for me is how much you two love each other! Your storytelling is really funny... Four acres of garden must be hard hard work, but bliss too!

Jeni said...

Anytime someone can actually get to emulate "Tom Sawyer" I am in admiration of their talent! Good job. You ROCK!

Sandra Evertson said...

How wonderful it would be to have a pond full of Koi!
Sandra Evertson

windycorner said...

That's how my mom always says to get things done-You start it,he'll finish it.

Jodie Adams said...


Unknown said...

OMG 4 acres! I have been planting for 3 days and 1 more to go, but 4 acres it's not! WTG

Justabeachkat said...

You, my dear, are one smart cookie!

Loved the story.


Unknown said...


I just love your stories. I would love to have a Koi pond. I had no idea they lived that long. Mac never seen it coming. LOL

Jamie Dawn said...

He snorted???!!!!
He's lucky you didn't pinch his nose off.
I'm gonna read part 2 now.

Susie Q said...

You amaze me Sandi...such a worker and I complain about my little yard!
It all looks so beautiful.

Hey, the pond sounds wonderful...and I am still waiting for Bill to get the fountain going that I bought *2* years ago!!

So, when will you be writing your book? You are such a gifted one with words and story telling. I would by a copy for everyone I know and 5 just for me.

Love ya,

Mmm said...

Wow. A good read -- you must be a very fast typist/keyboarder. That would take em a day to write!