Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Going to the Chair

I have decided that I have just the idea to help cure what ails me. I need to go to the chair. The beautician's chair, that is. I need Miranda to do that voodoo that she do do so well. My scalp needs a deep muscle massage, my hair needs an infusion of colour and some style reintroduced
and my eyebrows need separating, one from the other. You know, that eyebrow thing is like getting a mini face lift. I know it's so, I heard Oprah say it on her show once. Every woman in America owes it to herself to get that little bit of extra fur removed from over her eyes. It makes your face look longer, thinner (thinner, that's the best part). Get a little zing in your come hither look. I don't mean stand in front of the mirror making faces while you try to ambush yourself with the tweezers. I almost feel like drawing a line on my brow and then just plucking anything that falls outside of it. Someone once told me that you had to be very careful when plucking your eyebrows because there would come a time when they won't grow back. Please tell me, when is that time when they won't grow back? I think this person knew nothing about the subject matter, or else she just lied. They grow back. And like children returning to the nest, they bring friends. There is so much maintenance to the face that we take for granted when our skin is young and dewy, that we pay for when we are going into menopause, getting on the other side of menopause and pulling away from it tires screeching and smoke blazing...When you're fifty you'll look into the mirror and wonder why you see your mother there, peering back at you. Then it will dawn on you. This is why your mother told you to use the terry cloth wash cloths (or wash rags as we called them. Can't begin to know why, they were bought new every year, to match the garish towels then in fashion and thrown out into the "ragbag" after a year's use. But still, they were wash rags.) That lovely terry cloth kept our skin clean and polished. I don't know when I went to using sponges dipped in noxzema (is that even spelled right?) but when I was finished my face wasn't shiny red, or sparkling clean...it was just funny smelling and looked slightly oily, altho the product was "grease free" and we all knew that soap was made of animal fat. So, I'm back to the wash rag and ivory soap, I'm getting my eyebrows plucked so that I look less like the missing link and now, horrors of all horrors, I see that a little lip waxing may be in order...don't want anyone calling me Mr. McBride now, do I? Is it worth it? Well, unless I want to lock myself in the house and never see another living soul, I'd say yes.

14 comments:

Mary said...

A unibrow is just the thing to keep you warm in winter me i have white bristles around the chin to remind me Christmas is almost here! Need the strong glasses to be able to see well enough to pluck them!!!!

Kari said...

My eyebrows DID quit growing back! Luckily, it didn't happen during one of my "Marlena Deitrich eyebrow plucking" phases. ha I can't even remember the last time I had to pluck my brows. I guess there's maybe a hair or 4 I could stand to remove...but really, when it's so little, what's the point, right? I'm really shocked about my lack of brow growth, don'tchaknow. After all, I DO have McBride blood in me and everybody knows, the McBride's are a hairy lot! Why I've seen arms with less hair on them down at the gorilla cage in the zoo! lol Now the moustache and beard I've been working on...that's a WHOLE other matter. ha

Adla said...

Sandi dear,
you should meet my sister, She's a total freak when it comes to looking good. swears at those who haven't done their eyebrows in decades. heheheh I use to have really bushy brows, mistaken for being a John Howard once upon a time. All that is under control now, I'm really into threading these days., it takes longer to ehem ehem grow back , you should try that some time:)
Whoever said looking pretty is an easy process, we seem to enjoy the torture!

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Sandi, you're too funny...they come back and bring friends...ROFL!

We want an update after you've been in the chair. If it's as great as you're implying, I may have to make a trip to the chair myself.

justabeachkat said...

My trip to the chair is next week right before our trip to NY. Can't wait. It sure makes you feel better, doesn't it?! I need the "works"!

Hugs!
Kat

Kari & Kijsa said...

LOL....you are the best..."Mr. McBride"....LOL....

Have a very blessed day...

kari and kijsa

Brenda said...

Mine just growing in some grey ones now and im 43. I need a full body makeover.Hope your makes you feel better.

Brenda said...

Mine just growing in some grey ones now and im 43. I need a full body makeover.Hope your makes you feel better.

Lynn@ The Vintage Nest said...

I have stray eyebrows.....on my chin. Yuk! I don't think growing older is a good idea. Sandi you crack me up...! Have a super great day and I hope you are feeling better. ~ Lynn

It's snowing....looks so Christmasy.

LivingTheLife said...

Ok...you must be feeling better...you make me laugh...so hard...I wonder sometimes if my neighbors can hear me when I'm laughing so...the line about "Just like children...coming home and bringing friends"...I was on the floor with that one.

Have fun in the "chair" today...you deserve the works...nothing like a little pampering to make a gal feel better!

Blessings...
Teresa

joan said...

I love going to get pampered! I don't have a big problem with my eyebrows but no way am I doing them myself. I'm too uncordinated, before you would know it all of mine would be gone. Too funny of a post.

Jenn and Jacqui said...

Hi Sandi, a unibrow, isn't that a funny word! Your post has reminded us think ours are well overdue for a treatment! Let us all know how it went hon :) Jenn and Jacqui xo

Penny @ Lavender Hill Studio said...

What a funny post! And sooo true....It is funny to look in a mirror one day and notice hairs on your upper lip...no one told me one of the symptons on menopause was a mustache!
Penny

Jodie Adams said...

Well good luck with you trip to the chair, I too need to go to the chair for a quick fix. If I could only decide what to do with this hair, the last woman hacked it up pretty good. UGH!!