Monday, February 16, 2009

The Morgue Drawer

A group of us girls got together last night, leaving husbands and lovers to fend for themselves where it came to scavenging for food, drink and entertainment. Waitress not included. It's been a while since we were all together swapping war stories from the line of duty. It felt good to be in the company of women. I'm sure men can appreciate this, it's not much different from their poker nights, only we have no cards or chips, we expend no money only laughter. We try to keep things light for the fun of it and occasionally dark for the fun of it.

We were doing hamburgers and GS was doing her world famous slaw. I was amazed because she was actually making it in front of us so we could all steal the recipe if we were so inclined. I was. I did. I will. I told them about a house that had burned nearly to the ground on my way out to her house. It struck me as suspicious...but that's the cop blood, you see. Everything is suspicious. So GS told me that there had been a few suspicious fires in town, and that I could be right about the house. Everyone was moving around the kitchen, breaking up lettuce, slicing tomatoes, GS was now making chili so those of us so inclined could have a Carolina Classic hamburger...chili and slaw with a healthy slice of Vidalia onion. Turns out we were all so inclined. She cut the potatoes to fry, and looking around at our bounty, said "Wendy's doesn't have anything on us, girls!" Asking me if I wanted a soda, she directed me to her fridge. "I put some diet cokes in the freezer."

I walked over to the fridge, pulled the freezer drawer out and grabbed a coke. I heard one of the girls say, "did you intend to put a morgue drawer in your kitchen or was it a happy accident?" Every one broke out laughing as GS shook her head and told us it had not even occurred to her until it was set in place. After that several of us begged her to tell us the story of the night she got pinned in the Morgue.

The Morgue in the old hospital was more like a walk in closet with four odd looking drawers inset into the wall. It was old, having been an afterthought years ago when the hospital was first built. The only other people (other than the resident dead) that entered on any kind of frequent basis were the Medical Examiners and family members there to identify a loved one, or view a loved one who had passed in the hospital. One of the drawers, the bottom drawer on the left had long been in need of repair, but administration had done nothing about the repairs in the six months since the request had been made. There was now a trick to pull the "Resident of the drawer" out into the light for viewing. In the room was a tall metal trash can, you had to open the door out, pull out the drawer and quickly kick the trash can under the drawer to support it and keep the body on the tray of the drawer from tumbling onto the floor. The ME's had become so used to doing this that it was just second nature, open door, pull drawer, kick can, support tray. See? Easily done.

So this one night when GS was the ME on call, she had to go down to the Morgue to do the paper work on a body that had just gone down from upstairs. The family would want to "view" her, she knew, and she needed to get all the paperwork in the system. For some reason, the "Residents" were always put in feet first, rather than head first which made it difficult to read the toe tags. You had to pull the body completely out to read the information. GS said she groaned when she saw which drawer her patient was in. She expected the worse. She got it.

"I opened the door, " she told us, "and realized that the body within was well over three hundred pounds. At first the tray refused to move. I had one leg cocked to kick the trash can under the tray when it rolled out, but the tray still refused to move. Instead of looking to see what might be holding it, I just gave a hard jerk on it and suddenly it began to move. It picked up momentum and before I could kick the can under it to support it, it came off the track and pinned me to the back Morgue wall. I couldn't lift it. I couldn't move it. I began to wail hoping someone would hear me. After a bit, I gave that up and decided to save my voice for when I might hear someone coming down in the elevator. I figured that someone would miss me eventually, or the family would be escorted down to view the body and that I wouldn't be here long. I was in there for an hour before I heard the slightest sound other than my own breathing. I began to yell, "hello!!! hello!!!" at the top of my lungs.

The young ME was now thankful for the sweater that she had pulled on before going down to the glorified closet. It was cold in here. Of course, it needed to be cold, but she was afraid she was going to freeze to death before anyone came to her rescue. It was the elevator she heard that sounded like an angel skidding to a stop. She heard a voice singing a gospel song and so she began to shout, "in here, help me please!" She saw the young man in the huge mirror that hung on the morgue wall and showed the outside hallway. He stopped, took an earbud from his ipod out of his ear and stopped. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open in shock as though he had awakened and found himself in the midst of a horror movie. The ME, whose voice was now raw and wispy from shouting for over an hour, again called out, "Hello!!" She could hear the young man clearing his throat. He too seemed to have lost his voice. He turned all around trying to locate the voice. He began to stammer back, "hello, where are you?" He turned into the Morgue and seeing her there against the wall, ran over to try to help her. It took three men and a jack to free her from her chilly prison, but they finally managed to get the tray back on the tracks and into the drawer. "You know it was about a month before I felt warm again. And it was the impetus for building a new morgue. And high time, too!"

And so that's the story of the Morgue Drawer...line of duty stories? I have a million of them.

76 comments:

lmerie said...

Great line of duty story . . .that is great!

tardevil said...

Now THAT is hilarious!

Hilary said...

What a great story! Was it told with a (cough) deadpan face? ;)

Sandy said...

Oh my goodness!

Jeni said...

Quite a chilling tale, Sandi! I'm sure your friend saw now humor in that at the time but in retrospect, it's is really a good and very funny story.

Everything Stops for Tea said...

oops!!!- I used to work somewhere that shall remain nameless, but the Porter always used to frighten new staff by knocking on the wall of the Morgue room when they brought people down... I don't think it ever went as far as pinning them down!!!

Denise said...

OMG..... What stores people in careers such as that can tell.. but not sure everyone wants to hear! hahahhaha My son is Law Enforcement and there are some stories that I just laugh and laugh and there are some stories he does not share...... This was hilarious.... I pray that the lady in the drawer was watching from her heavens door and having a good laugh also!

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Absolutely brilliant and if you have a million line of duty stories then let's here them girl! That was a hilarious story and I could picture the whole thing!

Moannie said...

That is a chilly tale, at least you were not quite as cold as the resident of the drawer, but almost.

Vee said...

Oh dear heavens! That would've done me in...completely! Great story, Sandi, you sure know how to tell'em. If you've got a million of them, you'd better keep them coming.

Terri and Bob said...

Keep telling them! Hilary's comment was hilarious!

I think you all had a better time than guys do playing poker. I mean, how many times do you hear of someone getting shot over chili burgers?

Penny @ The Comforts of Home/Lavender Hill Studio said...

LOL! What a wonderful story. I want to hang out with you guys on girls night out!
xo
Penny

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Hilarious story - much funnier in the telling than in the experience I imagine. A x

Tara said...

Hi Sandi

What a riot...when my husband used to stop at lunch for milk before coming home, he'd keep it chilled in the morgue...he had to stop, noone in the family could drink it!!

:0)
Tara

Cheffie-Mom said...

Oh my! What a story! Can I come to girl's night? Sounds like too much fun!

Hairline Fracture said...

Holy MOLY! What a nightmare--but a funny story in hindsight!

Maggie May said...

That was a great but chilling tale. Quite funny really after the rescue that is.......!

Jamie Dawn said...

Terrific, funny story! I hope you'll share more of these Line of Duty stories. I love your storytelling talent!
I felt cold just reading this one. I HATE being cold, so could feel her pain!
:-)

tardevil said...

I need to google where Jefferson, SC is b/c if it's in the route between Rock Hill to Columbia to Myrtle Beach, I can probably find it, and I can make that yard sale & take some of that stuff off of your hands! Just don't start too early! I like to sleep late! :O) LOL!

Lover of Life said...

LOL! How fortunate you had a rescuer, how horrible to have been in that position any longer than you were! Thanks for the story.

Sweetie said...

Wow - what a line of duty story. I wish that you and Daughter Jennifer could get together and swap "morgue stories." She often assists with autopsies. I'll let her see this tale.
Sweetie

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

Lovely post and story....with Wichita lineman playing..one of my all time top ten songs...l just love it!!

thanks for a lovely visit

Coffee Bean said...

Oh my holy heck. I'm gonna have nightmares.

SandyCarlson said...

That is too much. Why a sense of humor is a prerequisite for jobs like that one!

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Mellifluous Morgue Mayhem. Sandi - if you can fictionalise these stories: you have a best seller on your hands methinks! ;) Hxx

Mary Isabella and Kiley too! said...

Oh My. What an experience11 Hope you all had a really good time...m.

Nessa said...

Great story. Who knew a morgue could be so lively.

CatHerder said...

HEEEEEE HEEEEEEE omg that is SO FUNNY. I laughed out loud on that one!

Butterfly Gardener said...

Your story is way too funny! In my line of work, we deal with funeral homes on a daily basis and we can tell a few line of duty stories as well.

david mcmahon said...

Morgue and Mindy !!!

(Sorry, I couldn't resist that, Sandi)

And please know that your comment on my Verse and Worse is definitely the comment of the week!

Daisy said...

That is horrendous, what an ordeal! Another one for my worst nightmare list- being pinned in the morgue!

Shrinky said...

'Course, if that were to happen today, she would sue and retire to the Bahama's!

You sure know how to tell a tale, what a story - I think I would have needed housing next drawer up from the corpse.. I woulda' just died!

Jay said...

Oh, my goodness! You know, when I see a scene in a movie which involves people getting trapped in morgues or chillers, I always think 'but they'd never survive the cold for long!'

I'm glad your friend DID survive. But wasn't she injured from being trapped under the weight? She must have had horrible bruising on her legs. :(

Trubes said...

Oooh Sandi, that gave me the creeps.
I would need therapy after such an experience....very funny though!

Di.xx

Donna said...

HAHAhahaa....I KNOW it's not funny...how horrible for her...BUT....Hahaa....hughugs

granny grimble said...

I love reading your tales, but that one surpassed them all! It was gripping, chilling (Ha! Ha!) but above all so funny. It reminded me of an 'I Love Lucy' script. Please, please, let us have more of these 'tales of the trades. Thank you for making me laugh.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Oh my goodness! That's a great story.

Dr.John said...

A great story to tell but not to live.

Pat@Back Porch Musings said...

I love it Sandi. You are a fabulous storyteller!!!

Helena said...

I miss the company of females! I don't know anyone here, even though I've lived here nearly 6 years. Um, that's sort of sad, isn't it?!
As for girl friends, I only really have one. I need to learn to drive and get around more!

Waah!

Thanks for popping in on my blog! I've enjoyed reading yours. You made me smile :)

Braja said...

A book comes to mind. Seriously. Has this woman considered it???!!!! With the success of all this CSI and medical examiner stuff, this humor side would rock...

bj said...

Great story...and I'll bet your are right in that you have a million stories to tell. just keep tellin' them..
xo bj

Deb said...

If that had happened to me I probably would have wet myself and then passed out from fright. You are a great storyteller. Tell us more ~ please!

mihalis-halkida said...

Hello my name is Michael. I have seen your blog and it is perfect. We follow your blog from Greece and I wish you good fun and joy
A simple life, simple happiness
Greetings. Michael

Tessa said...

An hilarious tale, if a little chilly!

Pat - An Arkansas Stamper said...

What a story!! A frightening experience at the time, but hilarious in the re-telling.

SueS said...

Hi, Sandi,
That's a great story - thanks to David and your comment, I have your blog to see now. Love it.

Meredith Teagarden(The Things we Carried) said...

Oh my gosh, what a story! i will be back to read more. Thanks for visiting!

cheshire wife said...

That must have been awful. I hope your friend can laugh about it now.

Suldog said...

Wow! Fantastic story! Thanks for writing it up.

SueS said...

Hey, Sandi,
Super-honored if you put me on your blogroll. I'm 'following' your blog now.
This is a wonderful statement:
"I want to live my life in such a way that when my feet hit the floor, Satan shudders and says "oh hell, she's up!"
(from your about-me section). Did you make that up? I've had times in my life where I felt exactly that way.

Pam said...

That...was a great story! O my, I'm freezing jjust thinking about her standing there for all that time.

justabeachkat said...

Wow! Now when I get stuck by a drawer I PRAY it's not one like that!!!! It makes for a funny story though.

Hugs!
Kat

Veggie Mom said...

Wow...that sounds like the good start of a scary novel. Stuck in the Morgue could be the working title, huh?

Brenda said...

Yes Aprils husband job will be awhile longer,but they got a great deal and the court mess with Kaytlynn is getting to be where they need to be here.
They are going to go ahead and buy and she can be decorating it.Kaytlynn will be able to be ready for school in the small country town. Not as close to me as before,but close enough I can run over any time.

Carrie Lynne said...

LOL! too funny sounds like something that would only happen to me.

Mockingbird Hill said...

Oh yeah...morgue stories! About 10 years back, my job entailed almost daily visits to the ME's Office. How's the best way to break in the new guys?? Just lay down under a sheet and jump up when they are getting their "pit tour"!

Great story...thanks for the smile.. :)

quilly said...

Wonderful story. I am so glad it had a happy ending!

nd congrats on being David's PoTD.

Indrani said...

Another fantastic award winning story from you! Congrats on the award!

Merisi said...

Chilly tale, indeed!
Where's my sweater? ;-)


Congratulations on winning David's Post of the Day award, well earned!

RuneE said...

A horror story of impeccable quality. I think I'll stay in bed.

Congratulation with Davdid's honour! Well deserved.

slowtumblinglife said...

great story!!! really brilliant..

Susie of Arabia said...

Great story, Sandi! Found you through David's POD - congrats!
I used to have a job where I had to record the temps in the morgue during my shift at a VA Center. I tried to get out of there as quickly as possible. On occasion, there would be a cadaver out on the table at room temperature, so I would complain the next day - what's the point of checking the refrigerator temps when there were bodies left out in the open?

NeereAnDear said...

LOL oh gosh ... I get such a chuckle when I come here to read a story... your sense of humor when you write just puts the biggest smile on my face...

I think it would be such a blast to meet you in person...

WHAT A HOOOOOOOT!!!! Or a scary howl at any rate....

I am hoping to do a new post soon... (I know whup me with the wet noodle already !!)

Just starting to catch up with all the blogs... and I have a LOT to go!

LOTS OF HUGS
JO

Cath said...

Oh my goodness Sandi that is so funny and scary all at the same time! Just brilliant. Would keep me out of the morgue for a while!

Congrats on POTD!

Finding Pam said...

I came and read, but forgot to comment. Too funny! Thank you for sharing that story with us.

Theresa said...

one of my cousins was an undertaker and he always had interesting stories to tell, and always had us laughing.

Sounds like you had a great girls night out!

Lew said...

Great story! The medical profession does get into some strange situations! When my oldest daughter was young, she wanted to be an ME. She kept that option open until residency and chose surgery. She spent most of 2004 in Iraq treating the wounded and is working with the recovering wounded at Fort Hood now. Thanks for visiting my world.

Sally said...

Great post, Sandi. Is Patricia Cornwell part of your group? :)

loong said...

Quite a chilling tale

® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...

Hi Sandi!
Haha I could just imagine all the thoughts going through that guy's head walking into the morgue hearing a croaky voice!
That would have totally freaked me out!
I'm back and I've missed reading you!
Big Hug! Donnie X

Lee said...

This is seriously shocking and yet so funny! I'm glad the ME got out ok.

You know, they make pull out refrigerator drawers for bedrooms now. You almost don't have to go to the kitchen in some master suites.

Hugs!
Lee

小貓咪 said...

視訊聊天,080聊天室,080苗栗人聊天室,6k聊天室,視訊聊天室,成人聊天室,中部人聊天室,免費視訊,視訊交友,視訊美女,視訊做愛,正妹牆,美女交友,玩美女人,美女,美女寫真,美女遊戲,hi5,hilive,hi5 tv,a383,微風論壇,微風,伊莉,伊莉討論區,伊莉論壇,sogo論壇,台灣論壇,plus論壇,plus,痴漢論壇,維克斯論壇,情色論壇,性愛,性感影片,校園正妹牆,正妹,AV,AV女優,SEX,走光,a片,a片免費看,A漫,h漫,成人漫畫,免費A片,色情網站,色情遊戲,情色文學,麗的色遊戲,色情,色情影片,同志色教館,色色網,色遊戲,自拍,本土自拍,kk俱樂部,後宮電影院,後宮電影,85cc免費影城,85cc免費影片,免費影片,免費小遊戲,免費遊戲,小遊戲,遊戲,好玩遊戲,好玩遊戲區,A片,情趣用品,遊戲區,史萊姆好玩遊戲,史萊姆,遊戲基地,線上遊戲,色情遊戲,遊戲口袋

Anonymous said...

Hello !.
You may , probably very interested to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may begin to get income with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you haven`t ever dreamt of such a chance to become rich
AimTrust incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with affiliates around the world.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your choice That`s what you desire!

I feel good, I began to get real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to select a correct companion who uses your funds in a right way - that`s AimTrust!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
It`s easy to start , just click this link http://luvalamoj.lookseekpages.com/jycaqy.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take our chance together to become rich

Anonymous said...

Good day, sun shines!
There have been times of hardship when I didn't know about opportunities of getting high yields on investments. I was a dump and downright stupid person.
I have never thought that there weren't any need in big initial investment.
Now, I feel good, I begin to get real money.
It gets down to select a correct partner who utilizes your funds in a right way - that is incorporate it in real deals, and shares the income with me.

You may ask, if there are such firms? I'm obliged to answer the truth, YES, there are. Please get to know about one of them:
[url=http://theblogmoney.com] Online investment blog[/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi!
You may probably be very interested to know how one can make real money on investments.
There is no need to invest much at first.
You may commense to get income with a sum that usually is spent
for daily food, that's 20-100 dollars.
I have been participating in one project for several years,
and I'll be glad to share my secrets at my blog.

Please visit my pages and send me private message to get the info.

P.S. I make 1000-2000 per daily now.

[url=http://theinvestblog.com] Online investment blog[/url]