Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Attn: SMARTHOMEPLANET.COM

Attn: smartplanethome.com

Ref: The Original Personal Pie Maker


Okay, so the mini pie baker that I ordered from Cook.com arrived yesterday. I spent this morning sipping coffee made by my Keurig coffee maker and munching on a doughnut from my mini doughnut baker. All in all a pretty fair morning between me and my gadgets. I was reading the hand book on the pie baker and discovered something fairly important...you don't even have to be fairly bright to figure out THAT the recipes in this handy dandy little hand book simply won't fly. Okay so I understand not to touch the hot plates because they are (duh) hot. I learned that at an early age, you know, more than fifty years ago. I understand that not all people who order this product are the sharpest knife in the drawer, so I understand the safety issues, okay? I also agree that you really shouldn't immerse the unit into water in order to clean it. Again, "duh". I am pretty sure I know not to use it while otherwise occupied (like say going to the grocers in the next town to buy the pie filling that might work in this thing...explanation following:)


I have read each and every recipe in my handbook provided by your company. I read them two or three times, in fact. I kept looking for the part where you actually cook the filling. I mean really people...just as it is important to tell some folks not to touch the hot plates or immerse in water or go off and leave the thing plugged in while you are in the next town over, it is equally important to tell the self same folk that pie fillings are to be cooked. I kept waiting to see the instructions to mix and put in pan and cook til thickened, then cool ... you know, every canned pie filling (fruit anyway) has one thing in common.  It has been cooked...but I could read this handbook from now till doomsday and I would never see those instructions...and since when would I freeze a pumpkin pie before eating?   It actually says this:  1. In a bowl mix combine all pie filling ingredients and mix until well blended.  2.  place baked pies in the freezer and allow to harden prior to eating.  Who writes these manuals? And more importantly, what country are they written in? I should pay more attention to where the things I buy come from, so I have only myself to blame. I only bring this to your attention because I am bringing it to my readers' attention at the same time. My readers are blogging friends and subscribers to The Cheraw Chronicle Newspaper, (a weekly paper in our county for many years for whom I am a columnist)...and all of them are smart enough to know that you would need to cook pie filling before putting it into the raw pie rounds as this calls for. And since pumpkin pie shouldn't be consumed frozen they disregard that bit of info immediately. I, in fact, believe that any or all of them could improve on your lousy little handbook in about five minutes...so, what I found from the handbook provided me with a good laugh and the instinct to throw it directly into the garbage...the handbook, not the pie maker...I'll reserve that option for after I've actually used it. Come to think of it, the only thing I'd keep the handbook for would be a coaster for my coffee cup...the coffee made by my Keurig...and my blog address is http://sandimcbride.blogspot.com/

I only resort to this because I've tried clicking on the Contact Us bar as shown on your site and it simply brings me back to the Google screen...just hoping this email address of info@smartplanethome.com works...I won't hold my breath. I'll just have another cup of coffee and a doughnut.

32 comments:

Maggie May said...

Goodness..... you could get food poisoning from NOT cooking the filling. You'd think they would have stressed that rather than worry so much about the heat of the thing. They are obviously worried about being sued.
You sound as though you should open a pie & coffee shop!

Many thanks for the prayers for us all & the bunny. She is on the mend now. They seem to get sick very suddenly & need urgent treatment to start them eating again. They get anorexia so easily & its often fatal!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Loses something in the translation, doesn't it?

Jules~ said...

I must admit that with all of my baking tendencies, I have never been big on pie making as my hubby doesn't like cooked fruit. (Odd right?) I am afraid I wouldn't have known to cook that filling and would have assumed it "set" in the over with the crust. Oh so much for me to learn.
All of those caution warnings in manuals make me laugh. Don't use this while in the bath tub is always my favorite.

Blessings to you today.

Penny @ The Comforts of Home/Flea Market Makeovers said...

I have read instructions exactly like these! I am trying really hard to buy things made in the USA...in fact if anyone is looking for a new flat screen tv for Christmas, the ONLY flat screen tv made in america is Vizio. We got ours at Costco.
Hugs,
Penny

Carver said...

I would like to say that's unusual for the handbook to be so useless but sadly so many are. It is bizarre though to have all those instructions and then skip telling people to cook the filling.

Justabeachkat said...

This is exactly why most of the time I don't even read the darn things. Hope their product works for you.

Hugs,
Kat

Donna said...

I Truly believe those booklets are Not written here...someone did a poor job with the translation!
Hope you take a photo of the first pie!!
hughugs

Brian Miller said...

ugh...hate it when companies do not respond...way to take the action you can to get their attention...hope that you get it straight...do love me some coffee...

Sally said...

You tell em girl! Ridiculous. Frozen pumpkin pie, YUK!!!

Lynn@ The Vintage Nest said...

LOL....and literally rolling on the floor, laughing out loud! Too funny Sandi. What do you need a pie maker for anyway??? Did you know that mini pies are the new in thing trying to take over cupcakes? That's what I heard anyway. :) And who is this Todd person? I had to google him. Now I am proud you watch the two of us. Come see what I did to the front porch. Todd helped! Love ya...Lynn

Vee said...

How is it that you are eating donuts? Have you been watching a lot of late-night tv? I've never heard of this here pie maker. I'll wait for further word from you about whether I should consider purchasing stupid instructions or not.

Merisi said...

Not heard from them yet? *giggles*

SandyCarlson said...

Drive ya nuts! You have me laughing--sorry!

Pam said...

too funny! Did they ever respond?

Sandi McBride said...

Sad to say, there has been absolutely no response from this group...I just hope that they look over what they're providing their customers!
Sandi

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Oh goodness! My late mother-in-law used to spend most of her days baking pies and heaven knows what else; the family were very self-sufficient! Since I appeared on the scene however, it's freezer and occasionally something that's very easy to make! I wouldn't know where to start with a pie maker!!

CJ x

NitWit1 said...

HA! HA1 sounds like directions from many of my digital gadgets.

Even if you used pie filling in a can the raw crusts would have to be baked.

So you see why I gave up cooking. Actually cooking is an art form and the best cooks know how to deviate a recipe and make it even better.

Having become a slave in a profession of required minutely correct measurements, I simply cannot make myself do that.

By the way, Rx is latin(?) for recipe. However, today's drug as so serious, pinch of this and a pat of that might lead to a major disaster.

Have another Keurig (I am envious) cup of coffee and donut.

Suldog said...

Sounds like those recipes would produce some fairly crummy pies!

Anonymous said...

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Pondside said...

What a strange appliance that is! I'd say that anything that could possibly poison you should go back to the manufacturer. Perhaps Tod will come in person to pick it up!

imbeingheldhostage said...

It may seem "duh" to us, but remember, even T-day turkeys come with instructions to remove the wrapping before cooking. It's scary, isn't it?

OMHeck. MY word very is FART U DIP. Really??

Donna said...

Merry Christmas to you and your family!!
hughugs

Zuzana said...

Dear Sandi, just stopping by to wish you and yours a wonderful Christmas and all the best in the New Year - thank you so much for your kind visits and words in the past year,
xoxo

Eddie Bluelights said...

A very Happy Christmas to you, Sandie ~ Eddie

Unknown Mami said...

Oh boy! That stinks. We bought my daughter a set of wooden alphabet blocks and for E they wrote "ELERHANT" and they left out the letter X from the alphabet all together.

Anna said...

Sandi, hope all is well. Sorry I missed you for Christmas, we got sick and everything fell behind. Wishing you happy new year, love, good health, and peace. Anna :)

Anya said...

We want to wish you and yours
A HAPPY & HEALTHY New YEAR
enjoy New Years Eve with your family

Hugs from your Dutch friends :)

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Just dropping in to wish you a very Happy New Year Sandi. Do hope it is a good one. A x

Deb said...

I snorted out loud as I read this post. I love your sense of humor and your honesty in writing. Hoping that 2012 is full of many adventures, much happiness, good health and lots of love ! Take care !

Justabeachkat said...

Happy New Year sweet friend! I hope 2012 will be good to you.

BTW...just like my blog post tonight expresses - YOU are important to me. Thanks for your friendship.

Hugs,
Kat

Vee said...

Are you lost over there at Facebook again?

Family Budget said...

Great blog! Thanks for sharing.