Once I wanted to be the best mother, ever. I'm not sure if I ever quite attained the lofty level of BME, but it sure wasn't for want of trying. I learned the differences between what they wanted, what they needed and what they just absolutely had to have no matter the sacrifice. Okay, so the last thing didn't rear it's ugly head quite as often as they insisted on it, but I did eventually level the playing field and work through the problems. When they were little, it was much easier. I could simply tell them no or get the object of their affection on the qt and surprise them. As they got older, that became harder to do. Just this weekend we were looking at some pictures of them at the age of 8 and 9 just after Santa had made his stop. It showed the boys with their creatures of selection (transformer creatures of the day) and Wallace says, "oh yeah, I remember those...I was poking around in your closet to see what I could find and there they were...I hated I had done it, there were no surprises." I never knew that. It cured him of snooping, I think, but it sort of messed that Christmas up for him. As they attained teen hood, it was so much harder to do what was best for them and harder to say no. Since I was a LEO with the Sheriff's Department, I knew every cop in every department in every town including the Highway Patrol. They couldn't get away with anything that I didn't hear about...eventually. One of the SCHP patrolmen had a nickname for Michael...Road Warrior. He slipped up and called him that when he didn't know I was anywhere around. I got the story of how he came to get the nickname...two stops in as many nights by the same trooper...and no consequences. I can't say I agreed with it and told him so. Of course I had to confront Michael with it as soon as we were both home at the same time...and it slowed his little Chevy down for a time. Wallace had already taken care of his own speed problem by nearly losing control of his , just trying to see how fast the Trans Am would go. I learned of this after he was married the first time. I wished he'd kept it to himself. Being a semi-believer in the string theory, I sometimes wondered what had happened to them in those alternate lives the true string theory believers often speak of.
So, I wanted to be best mother ever...not quite there...and now trying attain BMilE or Best Mother in law Ever status. It's an uphill climb. My son Michael is married to the lovely Anna and they have our only grandchild, Arianna...I do not poke my nose in their business even when they invite it. I never liked either my parents or Mac's trying to mind our business and I promised myself that I would not do it to them. When it comes to holidays, I remember how often I wished I could be with my family during Thanksgiving and Christmas, but usually we were to far away to be with either. We spent two Thanksgiving's with his family because he was a Navy Recruiter in their home town and we were there. We spent two with my family because we were in Charleston which isn't far from my family. It all worked out. But I remember how I felt as a daughter and I realize that my daughters-in-law must feel the same way. Therefore, we have Thanksgiving on Saturday so we can all be together. It's a compromise, but one which I am willing to make. My older son Wallace presented us with our future daughter -in-law over this holiday season. We were quite pleased with his choice. She seemed pleased with our situation of Thanksgiving on Saturday and we all had a great time, especially Arianna (who was looking forward to having a new Aunt in the family...though she is not so sure she wants any cousins any time soon...she's sort of used to being the ONLY grandchild.)
So, I'm going to be a Mother-In-Law again and I couldn't be any happier...I just hope that this song doesn't end up as ring tone for either of my girls!