Friday, January 15, 2010

Back from the brink and four hours in hell...

It doesn't seem as though it's been four weeks since I posted, but it has. 2010 came in and knocked me on my butt in too many ways to dwell on. I've been pulling myself away from the abyss since the first day of January. Illness took it's toll. I know why they call it the swine flu, now. It's because you feel like you've been in the smoker for ever. Your chest is tight from coughing and your head is achy from being packed with the bi-products of sinus's in action. Your body is tired and your spirit is exhausted. And that's just from the flu. Never mind all the rest of the crap that life throws your way when you are to weak to defend yourself and your family. I am no longer on face book. I feel in my soul that it is evil. I began to feel better from the first day I closed my account. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It felt wonderful.

Mac had his first cataract surgery three weeks ago. I had forgotten what an ordeal it is to drive someone who has no faith in the driving capabilities of anyone but themselves. It was horrible, that first trip. Yesterday he had the surgery on his second eye and the trip home was almost pleasant because he was still rather doped up and was busy entertaining himself with all the different ways to say foul words. He would look over at me as I drove and say "I'm really ****ed up." I would have to agree with him that indeed yes, he was really ****ed up, and continue with the drive. The trip is approximately 2 hours each way. The first two hours he was driving. Then there was the trip home. No problem. Today was the post op trip to see Dr Seltzer and of course, he couldn't drive because he still couldn't see well enough and he was still...well, messed up. Just a bit. We started off with him clutching the dashboard like an anchor that could keep him tied to the ground. We'd only gone five miles when I was warned to slow down. I was doing 40 miles an hour. We got onto the four lane with him tapping the dashboard, then tapping his leg...he was anxious and getting on my nerves.

I tried to remind him that I was a good driver (a professional driver, even) with a better driving record than he had. I was accused of "having contacts to purge my record". I took great umbrage at that remark as I haven't had so much as a parking ticket in over 30 years. There has been no reason to "purge my record" as he called it. We drove on. He told me again that I needed to slow down. I told him that I was doing the speed limit and had the truck on cruise control. I again reminded him that I was not the speeder in the family. When we arrived at Dr. Seltzer's office he said, "don't take offense if I get down and kiss the ground when you come to a stop." I glared at him. "Don't take offense if I kick you in the ass while you're down there making nice with the ground, then" I said. He laughed. Grudgingly.

The trip home was even worse. All the "good stuff" had now worn off. Now he was just feeling mean. He started as we pulled out of the parking lot. "You know I'm not going to let you ever forget it if you tap someone getting back on the road, " he said. I looked over to him, dark glasses hiding his a good bit of his face. "Oh, I'm going to tap someone all right, " I said. "I'm going to tap someone hard enough that they need a cast on that arm if that someone doesn't stop tapping the dashboard!" I pulled out into traffic. He kept telling me when a traffic light was coming up, as though I couldn't see it. I reminded him that he was the one who couldn't see, not me. "Yes, and you should respect that!" he snapped. I shook my head at that bit of wisdom and continued on my unmerry way. After we got back on 151 a car pulled up next to us. The motor was so loud, the hifi turned up to maximum that it caused the truck to vibrate. The young man in it was making "lets race" motions with his head. I was busy wishing I had a blue light at my side that I could whip out and pull this idiot over with. I already had the ticket written in my head. Mac was saying "get ahead of him, that noise if making me crazy." You know, it was on the tip of my tongue. But I was still an hour away from home. It would be a shame to end a 41 year marriage over his inability to ride with me at the wheel. At some point in the next few days however, I will be reminding him of his motto..."there ain't nothing funny about a woman with a gun."


i beati said...

let's slowly juice some energy giving veggies, etc. for a return to energy.

How are his eyes doing?Coming along???

I was able to get onto Kari's website today super stuff.

Take care and Have a grand rest of the year !!!

Anya said...

We are so happy you are back
and you are feeling better !!!
I send positive feelings .....
I don't like it when you are sick.
We need you healthy :-)
Anya :-)

Pat@Back Porch Musings said...

It's good to have you back, Sandi! I am so sorry for your illness. I'm not sure how J feels about my driving...but he has driven himself to the hospital while having chest pain, so I guess that speaks volumes.

J is moving into this horrible respiratory thing, this week. I was sick for two months and just as I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...he got sick.

An old school friend's daughter is in hospital as I type. She started having symptoms of the flu, earlier this week and it has quickly turned into a very scary time. She has Muscular Dystrophy. The last note we had, she is on a ventilator. My heart is heavy, with this news.

imbeingheldhostage said...

Deeeeep breath. You are home and you are both alive (and I'm sure he has no idea how close he came to making that statement untrue).
I am so glad you're beginning to recover from that nASTY flu, but PLEASE take it easy. I've been told that where it really gets you is when you feel like you're gonna survive and then you try to accomplish too much so it starts all over again. Rest. Ignore Mac, he can now see well enough to take care of things ;-)

Vee said...

Oh, bless your heart. I do love a great love story! LOL! And yours is a great love story or that man of yours would've finished his ride home in the trunk. God love'im. He's been through a lot. And so have you! Glad that you're back...I so want to talk with you about your Facebook experience.

Wanda @ Just Vintage said...

Glad to see you back in the land of the living. That must be some rough stuff. Well, you just said that, didn't you?

I appreciate the Mac Seat Driver story. I just thought my guy was bad. And he *is* bad. Just not quite that bad.

Jay said...

Oh, I sympathise. I am beginning to learn that a man who is growing older and has nothing much to do can be a serious moaner. I have accused OH of being an old fart more than once lately.

The trouble is, men can't stand not being competent and they love to be in charge. If they can't, they fret, poor loves.

Sometimes I think the only thing to do is to do as my mother did and just say 'yes dear' at intervals, while going her own sweet way.

I hope he heals fast! And not just so you can stop driving him around. ;)

Denise said...

I am so so sorry that you have been so ill...... I have not been in the blog much and have not been by here... Me and my sweet husband were terribly terribly sick in October..... No idea what it was but my gosh....... took us weeks to recover........Nasty bugs out there...

I am sorry but I just had to laugh about the "Driving Mr Nasty" What in the world do these silly men think! Oh wait a minute.... They do not think!!!!!!!!!

AND I am leaving FB..... I really hate it and it is just causing more stress in my life.... too many things to keep up with and the guilt that comes with that....... I love the blog world and am staying here!

Unknown said...

First of all so glad you're feeling better, that flu is very rough, so I got the shot!

Secondly - OMG ROFLMAO at "Don't take offense if I kick you in the ass while you're down there making nice with the ground, then"! Best line I've seen anywhere online this week lol!

BTW I also quit FB at the start of the year, and just like you feel liberated and do not miss it at all. All they see now are auto blog posts and that's it from me!

Finding Pam said...

Sandi, I am glad that you are better now. I have heard thst flu was bad.

More to the point, how did you survive driving Mac to the doctor and on the road for two hours?

I would have put him in the back seat.My hubs is like that as well and he makes me crazy when I have to drive him. Some times I just have to pull off the side of the road and tell him to leave the the heck alone, or else he can walk.

We are coming up on 38 years of marriage on Jan. 17th. We must be the nicest wives in the world!

I want to hear about FB as well and what prompted you to end it.

Take care my friend. Hugs to you,

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Sorry to hear you have been unwell Sandi and hope you continue now in good health. As for Mac - well I'm pleased that his eye operations are now over but he should consider himself lucky he isn't sporting two black eyes! But men do like to make a fuss don't they.

jabblog said...

I hope the rest of 2010 is happier and healthier for you. Frankly, I don't know how I manage to drive at all when my husband isn't in the car - would I remember to pull out to overtake or notice the traffic lights?
Interesting about Facebook. I haven't had any problems with it but don't go in much these days. I just ignore all the stuff that doesn't interest me and use it to keep an eye on family around the world.

Anonymous said...

You are a saint, woman. I would not have threatened, but would have slugged him, op or no op...which is why I have only driven JP once, and that was when he was ill. Men!!

Good to see your name in my sidebar again.

Country Cottage Chic said...

Sorry to hear that the piggie flu caught up with you & that the Mr has been giving you a hard time - tell him to call a cab next time!!


Mickle in NZ said...

Dear Sandi - what amazing tolerance, such a composed Sandi. Confess I'd have been tempted to leave your dear Mac on the side on the road - and Mickle doesn't drive!

I did get my driving license, but am so, so umcomfortable and stressed with driving ....Hey, the world is a much safer place with me off the road.

Now, as for our Sandi - sweetheart you did the swine flu well and properly (it is such a swine ...). Hugely relieved that you are up and about and blogging again because I was worried for you.

so now I will dare to say Happy New Year!

Care and loving huggles from Michelle and Zebbycat

Zuzana said...

My goodness, what an amazing post! The way you write is incredible, I was laughing constantly, as your words make it easy to envision the whole situation with you and your husband in the car. This reminds me of my parents, my dad would be exactly like your husband. Thus my mom ended up never driving.
The last sentence is absolutely priceless.

In any case, I am sorry you have been ill, but I take it you are fully recovered now. As seems your husband will be soon.;)

Wonderful read on a cold Saturday afternoon.
Wishing you a lovely one,

Lee said...

OMG! That is worse that my ex ever did or said! And it's silly! I know guys are brought up to believe that they should drive and escourt their women around but that's no excuse for rude behavior.

Glad you're feeling better Sandi! Hope Mac heals quickly too!


Jinksy said...

I award you a putty medal for patience with the patient! LOL :)

Jeni said...

Anyone who has ever been married or just simply lived with a man knows they are the biggest whiners and crybabies around -also the biggest backseat drivers too! LOL My condolences on both the trips with your significant other as well as with your bout with the illness. Up here, we got hit too about two weeks ago -Mandy, both kids and me -but I don't think it was the flue. Just really nasty and very long-lasting head colds that turned into sinus infections for the kids. Maybe that's what Mandy and I ended with with too as the drainage is still an ongoing thing and about to drive us both bonkers!

Justabeachkat said...

Oh sweet girlfriend, I have missed you! Sorry you were so sick. Yikes!

LOVED this post and the chuckles it gave me. The best line - "Don't take offense if I kick you in the ass while you're down there making nice with the ground, then" Priceless!

Hugs from the beach!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

So happy to have you back in the land of blog! I had something, not swine flu.... but the cough is horrible and lingering. Two rounds of antibiotics and it still won't go away entirely.

Next time you have to drive your man, sedate him. Two hours of that would end my marriage for sure! He should catch a nice nap while you drive!

SandyCarlson said...

I'm glad you're back, but I'm sorry you have been struggling with illness and aggravation.

Facebook bummed you out? It's a weird little universe. It's the high school I don't want to go back to.

Be well, and give yourself a good rest.

♥ Boomer ♥ said...

Missed your clever blogging and am glad you are feeling better. FB has helped me connect with friends from more than 40 years ago, that I hadn't seen since I was a teenager. It's gotten me closer to my cousins. I'm praying it only works positive things in my life. When I spend too much time there, I know it's me who is the troubled one! Take care of yourself and feel stronger every day.

Jeanne said...

Gosh Sandi I don't know what I feel sorrier for you ror, the illness or trouble driving Mac. Yikes! Should have pulled over and left him on the side of the road. lol (just kidding!)

Mima said...

Sandi, sorry to hear that you have been having a bad time, not only with your health, but with so many other things at the same time, it does become really hard to cope, and I'm glad to hear that although tested, you are in one piece.

No idea what happened on Facebook, but I get the feeling from your words that someone was making life difficult for you, if so I'm sorry to hear that too, it has been so different for me as it has allowed me to get much closer to my extended family.

As for Mac and driving - oops - he has much to learn doesn't he!! I'm surprised that you didn't gag him and put him in the back of the car where he couldn't distract you! I have always found it hard being driven by a new carer, but your wife of so many years, he should really know by now how safe you are!

Pondside said...

BIG sympathy, empathy or whatever you want to call it. The Great Daine is similarly afflicted with the inability to sit in the passenger seat.
So sorry you were so sick, but happy to see you back. Glad to hear that you got out from under facebook - I dipped a toe in last year and recoiled pretty quickly. I don't need to be 'found', especially by clients.
Take good care so that you don't relapse!

Moonie said...

Hee hee hee! Thank you so much for your return. I missed the giggles you give me. And I love saying your name to my husband who then begins his version of Scottish/Irish brogue for a couple hours as personal entertainment. Your drive sounds familiar. Except I'm the one pointing out everything to my sweetie, who keeps a roll of duct tape near by to remind me. :D Glad you're all on the mend and have missed you so much.

Unknown said...

Glad you stay are back and hope you stay healthy the rest of this winter season. Take care Sandi!

Jules~ said...

Sandi, I am so sorry you got hit was that awful flu bog. I am glad though that you seem to be getting your drethers around you. It is so awful to feel down and sickly.

My husband is just as awful too of a front seat driver. There was a time when I wanted to drive with him in the car so that I could prove that I was a good driver. I thought maybe then he would stop grumbling and relax. Now I have learned that it is not jsut me....he does it to everyone. I have much better peace of mind to give up and give in. Otherwise I would contemplate keeping duct tape under the drivers seat.

Blessings to you today and get 100% better.

Tara said...


Yikes, so sorry to hear you had swine flu! I made my son come home from college to get the shot--he's an asthmatic and they were saying young men with this condition would get it hard. We also had a young 22 yr old man here in town die of it. That should not be happening to young strapping guys and not you, either!

As far as mac goes--well, gosh, you've got plenty of time to torture him! haha!

cheshire wife said...

What a difficult time you have been having! Men are rarely good patients or back seat drivers and when the two are combined, heaven help us.

Anonymous said...

Nice dispatch and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you seeking your information.

Maggie May said...

Sorry to hear you've been so unwell. Glad Mac got his cataracts done though & hope he is progressing just fine.
What is it with couples not being good at sitting in a passenger seat? It is the surest way to divorce!

Nuts in May

denise said...

sorry you've been sick. what happened with facebook? i think it can be aggravating and stupid as heck, but i've never had a bad experience. sorry you did. can't wait to read about your gardening happenings. it's almost time.......

Pinkerbell said...

I considered recently whether facebook was helping or hindering. I think it depends on what you do on there, some people set up the farms and play all the quizzes, I just reply to the status updates and put up photos. I think it's a good way to keep up with major events, but you can't possibly keep up with all those people in any effective way, it's just too much pressure to put on yourself if you're also wanting to live a fulfilling real life as well!

As to your post about your annoying passenger. How is it that they manage to get to us so well, even though we are expecting such criticism and bad moods if they are sick, still they seem to get right to the core of what will upset us. And mine uses the line "Don't upset me with trying to explain yourself right now, can't you see I'm stressed, just accept that you are wrong." Well that's a red rag to a bull if I know I'm right, nomatter he could have his arm hanging off, if I'm right I'm right. That's probably unreasonable of me though heh?!

Anonymous said...

[b]coreldraw cgm, [url=]academic edition software[/url]
[url=]buy software microsoft office[/url] adobe photoshop cs4 for mac serial code winzip 12 keys
business order software [url=]academic discount software[/url] which mac is best for photoshop
[url=]free download photoshop for mac[/url] old software store
[url=]educators discount software[/url] non profit software discount
anti virus software to buy [url=]message store software[/url][/b]

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone!
I would like to burn a theme at this forum. There is such a nicey, called HYIP, or High Yield Investment Program. It reminds of ponzy-like structure, but in rare cases one may happen to meet a company that really pays up to 2% daily not on invested money, but from real profits.

For quite a long time, I earn money with the help of these programs.
I'm with no money problems now, but there are heights that must be conquered . I make 2G daily, and I started with funny 500 bucks.
Right now, I managed to catch a guaranteed variant to make a sharp rise . Turn to my blog to get additional info. [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

Kappa no He said...

I'm so glad you're feeling better and your patience is amazing. I think your 2010 will improve by leaps and bounds. I hope you have a great one and I'll be back to read about it.


Sandi @the WhistleStop Cafe said...

I am glad you are feeling better! It is easy for time to just pass us by~ and there is nothing wrong with that!

How I Like My Coffee said...

Lovely to see you are back, I missed reading your blogs..
I have a happy meme at mine for you..I hope it cheers you up.

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone! Who knows where to upload the film Avatar?
I even bought the film Avatar for a SMS to , the link was, but download fails, the system will boot quite strange cocoa something.
Men, advise where to normal as quickly download film avatar?

Donna said...

Missing you! Hope all is still better!!!

myonlyphoto said...

Sandi, I really missed your posts, and I know that things were not going well as you described, but this one made me really laugh, and I may use it to sometimes "there ain't nothing funny about a woman with a gun." - lol. Thanks, and hope you are feeling better. Anna :)

Merisi said...

I hope you are both feeling better now! :-)

Anonymous said...

Hello everyone!
I would like to burn a theme at here. There is such a thing, called HYIP, or High Yield Investment Program. It reminds of financial piramyde, but in rare cases one may happen to meet a company that really pays up to 2% daily not on invested money, but from real profits.

For several years , I earn money with the help of these programs.
I don't have problems with money now, but there are heights that must be conquered . I get now up to 2G a day , and my first investment was 500 dollars only.
Right now, I managed to catch a guaranteed variant to make a sharp rise . Turn to my blog to get additional info. [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

The Muse said...

always keeping you in my thoughts...
and prayers....

Lynn @The Vintage Nest said...

Hi Sandi, Been there ....done that. Bobby G. likes to be the lead dog...and the one driving ....not me. He had surgery two weeks ago which meant I had to drive. LOL...He didn't say anything but he did have a death grip on the dashboard and he is the big speeder in the family...not me. I obey all speed limit signs. :) So sorry January has been a bummer...same here. I swear I hate to wish my time away but I will be glad when January is over. I had the flu too...still do and we had an awful unexpected death in the family, amongst other crappy things. So February...come on! Hope things will get better for you too! xoxo Lynn

Anonymous said...

[url=]descargas casino [/url]
[url=]casino online uk [/url]
[url=]3 casino game line online slot [/url]
[url=]ganar dinero en el casino [/url]
[url=]link casino [/url]
[url=]casino in vegas wynn [/url]
[url=]internet casino gambling site [/url]
[url=]zodiac casino [/url]
[url=]banda sonora casino royal [/url]
[url=]casino de exposicion de sevilla [/url]
[url=]grupo casino francia [/url]
[url=]convenio colectivo casino palma [/url]
[url=]portal casino online linea [/url]
[url=]casino sur net [/url]
[url=]morango casino resort [/url]
banda sonora casino royal
[b]casino gran madrid torrelodones[/b]
gratis juego casino gratis juego
roulette casino
[b]on line casino wagering[/b]
morango casino resort
[u]letra you know my name casino[/u]
incline village hyatt regency lake tahoe resort casino
casino de santa rosa
[b]puerto plata paradise beach resort casino[/b]
apuesta and deportiva and casino
casino espana portal web

Anonymous said...

tired of comments like "To tell the truth… " or buy antibiotics online. Then write to me at icq 75949683256...

Anna Lefler said...

Welcome back!

Man, you've had a plate full so far...hopefully it's better days ahead...

(We did the swine flu over Thanksgiving - geez, it was gruesome.)

Take care!

:-D Anna

Anonymous said...

Nice post and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you for your information.

Carol Murdock said...

LOL!!! I thought I was reading my own tale just in reverse! This is our story everytime we go on a trip with Hubby at the wheel! His driving scares me silly and he really is a GOOD driver. I just get worse as I get older and know that just around the corner is the day that in order to ride in a car,
I will have to be driving! Glad you're feeling better and I agree that 2010 started off on the wrong foot for a lot of people! :)

Anonymous said...

Opulently I agree but I think the list inform should secure more info then it has.

Nishant said...

I was able to get onto Kari's website today super stuff.

Work From Home