Monday, October 6, 2008

The Great Egg Caper

Long before the medical factions started warning us about things like eating too much meat, eating too little fish, using good old fat back grease for frying and cooking, and eating eggs with cracked shells, we were doing it all. By we, I mean our entire county. We're Southern. It goes without saying. My Grandfather, who was Scottish, believed that a penny saved would keep him solvent. I'm not saying he was tight, but for heaven's sake, he was Scottish. He believed in land ownership, because, he said, they're not making anymore of it. At his death he owned nearly 1000 acres which he left to my Grandmother, till her death, at which time it would be divided between the three daughters. My grandmother, who taught school, was a very kind woman who believed in helping her fellow man, even if that meant giving that penny saved, to the down trodden. She had generosity of heart. She and my Grandfather got along the way most married people do, they had their ups and downs and could carry on an argument for days and then suddenly, it was over. And like everyone else, the arguments usually were over money.

Mammy (my grandmother) went grocery shopping on Saturdays. During the week (after retiring from teaching school) she farmed along side Daddy Dwight (my Grandfather). The days from Monday through Friday were long hard days, especially Friday night. Friday nights were the nights when Mammy made out the checks to the farm hands, caught up the ledger and prepared for another week beginning Mondays. Daddy Dwight , after inspecting the fields, made up the schedule for what needed doing to the tobacco fields...poisoning (for worms), watering, topping (taking the flower tops off the plants so that the growth would go to the leaves and not the flowers), decide when it was time to "put in tobacco" and hire the extra hands, get the fuel for the tobacco barns , check the barns and flues, just get ready for production, in general. It was not an easy job, for either of them.

It was early one morning, a Saturday, and Mammy was getting ready to go grocery shopping at the Red and White. They always got their eggs at the Purina place, and bought them 8 dozen or so at a go, the cracked cheaper eggs. Daddy Dwight was in charge of that. He took the pickup to town, and Mammy took the car. So, Saturday afternoon, I was sitting at the table, knees up and feet on the seat of the bench, reading a book. I even remember the book. It was Lad: A Dog by Albert Payson Terhune. Having spent the night with head under the covers and flashlight focused on the page, I only had about two chapters to go. The argument between my grandparents was like a buzzing mosquito in my ear...I wasn't really listening, but the voices were rising. Mammy had the patience of Job and really didn't lose her temper till she had taken as much as she could take and then boy howdy, everyone better stand back, cause as in the words of the miners, "she's gonna blow!" Funny, but all her female progeny are just like that in every respect. So I hear Daddy Dwight fussing about Mammy throwing out some of the eggs. She tried to tell him that some were cracked a bit too much and she couldn't cook with them. He kept insisting that there was nothing wrong with them and how wasteful she was being. I saw her eyes narrow and lips thin to a straight line. I closed my book with a snap and just as I was getting up to leave the room, the house, maybe the yard, it happened. Mammy picked up one of the eggs that was severely cracked and said, "here Dwight, let me show you why I can't use this egg," and smooshed it on the top of his head. Then she rubbed it in.
And the fight was on.

The egg fight, which started in the kitchen, eased onto the screen porch and then on out into the yard. They were throwing eggs at each other like a pair of six years old. Neither of them were laughing, they were intent on coating each other with as much egg as they could. I had run down to my Aunt Margaret's and ratted them out and she and my Aunt Pat went up to the house to break up the war. Both were slightly out of breath, but we never knew what would have broken up the fight first, their anger dying out or running out of eggs. And remember, they had at the very least eight dozen of them.

I don't remember how long it took them to start speaking to each other again...three days or three weeks. But I know it took the Aunts three days to cleanup the slippery, gooey mess of eggs dripping from the cabinets, the table, and the walls onto the kitchen floor. My cousin Crystal (Aunt Margaret's daughter) and I were talking about this "comedrama" this morning. We were laughing so hard we couldn't catch our breaths. I told Crystal that I thought I would blog about the the great egg caper, that enough time had passed where it was funny. But Mammy and Daddy Dwight never laughed about it. It was not allowed to be brought up in their presence. So, if I get a visit from the other side tonight, I'm thinking I'll know why. I just hope they aren't carrying a box of eggs.

63 comments:

Cheffie-Mom said...

She "smooshed" it on his head! LOL! What a great story! Thanks for sharing. (:

Penny @ Lavender Hill Studio said...

LOL!!!!! I am laughing so hard I have tears running down my face! I can just see the whole event! Thank you Sandi, for brightening my day :-)
Hugs,
Penny

Lib said...

Hi Sandi,
Lol I can just see it all now!lol
Never a dull moment in your life huh? :o)
Hope you have a great week!
Blessins',Lib

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

Ahhahahahahahaha...what a perfectly wonderful story. I was hoping that your grandmother whipped him up an omelette and that it made your grandfather slightly ill, but this ending is far, far better! Hahahahahaha...

CrazyCath said...

ROTF. That is funny. I love the sound of the egg as it "smooshed" on his head!
Great story. Hope you sleep well tonight!

Pam said...

That must have been some sight!! How many eggs do you think they went through before there was a cease fire? lol!

Jeni said...

Love reading your stories about family, days long since gone by. This one was too funny! I'm thinking too that I apparently led a really dull, very boring life with my grandparents who I have no recollection of them ever arguing much less throwing things at each other. My Dad's parents, who were Scottish and I never "knew" (grandfather died 22 years before I came along and my grandmother when I was 2 1/2 so don't remember her) but my Mom told that my one uncle had a reputation of being very close-fisted and one year, he gave my grandmother $5.00 for Mother's Day or her birthday, something like that, and she wanted to frame it to acknowledge that he had actually parted company with some of his money. Other "stories" I have heard in recent years make me wish I'd know that side of the family a lot better as they sound like they were a bit more fun-loving.

Akelamalu said...

I love to read about family stories and the egg fight was a good one!

My Dad said when his mother and father had a fight Dad would take himself off to bed and Mother would shout up the stairs

"Adam (Dad) had 'em, but he hasn't got 'em anymore!" Don't ask me what it meant I have no idea but it made me laugh!

Love Bears All Things said...

Thanks for sharing this! Your Grammy sounds like me with her slow to anger demeanor. I've been known to throw a few things, no eggs though. They're awfully hard to clean up. And usually my "boil" is over after the one throw. I love hearing these stories. I remember that eggs stayed outside the fridge some,too. But these were farm grown eggs without all the antibiotics and hormones. My Mother always cooked with her bacon grease, too. I don't know but what they weren't healthier then. And we didn't have nursing homes full of folks who don't know where they are. There is something to be said for quality of life.
Mama Bear

Jamie Dawn said...

Ha, ha, tee, hee, snort!!
I could just see that egg fight as I was reading about it.
What a riot!!
Mammy and Daddy Dwight had spunk!
Too bad they never got to the place where they could laugh about their egg fight.
WE can laugh about it though, cant we??!!!!
Thanks for sharing this funny story.

:-)

justabeachkat said...

Oh.My.Word! Too funny!

Remember me? Life has been sooooo C-R-A-Z-Y lately...but a good kind of crazy, so I can't complain even though it has kept me from visiting. But...I'm home now...for a week or so anyway.

I've had so much fun reading all your posts I've missed. Gosh, you really know how to tell a story.

Hugs!
Kat

Denise said...

I love to hear the stories of the days gone by.. I have such sweet memories of my Grandmother Ida.. She had fire in her eyes and a gentle touch.. She taught me of life... How to be a child and then how to be a woman...... I miss her so...... Thanks for the funny story........ It is what life is all about!

Hairline Fracture said...

Hahahaha! Watch your back--they just MAY toss some eggs at you. My grandparents had some fights, but no eggs were thrown (that I know of.)

ancient one said...

I'm rolling.. that is so funny... I'm sure it wasn't funny to them, but the way you told it really made me laugh. I don't remember my grandparents having fusses and fights, but my parents sure did!

Deb said...

I can't imagine seeing my grandparents doing this ~ too funny! I have had a day or two when I think it would have felt really good to smoosh an egg on someone's head! Thanks for sharing this! :)

Brit' Gal Sarah said...

Hey missy, you need to pop back over to mine and explain to me what a Nessie Pot is - I keep asking in comments!?

Jeff B said...

You've just reminded me of a childhood memory of my own involving eggs. I'll make a point of posting about it in the next few days.

Your grandparents may not have found any humor in this, but I sure as heck did. I loved it.

snickering

laughing

Lee said...

That's hilarious, Sandi! ROLF! You're grandparents obviously loved each other a bunch.

Hugs,
Lee

Sally said...

Oh Sandi, you have me smiling this morning. Your stories are wonderful.

Maggie May said...

Oh..... all those eggs!
Great story.

GoneBackSouth said...

That's so funny, and what's even funnier is that they didn't talk or laugh about it either! And how ironic, that they wasted so many eggs.

smilnsigh said...

"He believed in land ownership, because, he said, they're not making anymore of it."

Husband's dad or grand dad said it this way; "Always making more people but never making more land." :-) Same idea!

That caught my eye, before the funny story.

Miss Mari-Nanci

jay said...

Aaah .. it's just so nice to hear of our elders and betters behaving like toddlers, isn't it? I can't remember my grandparents doing anything of the sort!

But as someone with an egg allergy, I'm just glad I wasn't there! LOL!

jay said...

Aaah .. it's just so nice to hear of our elders and betters behaving like toddlers, isn't it? I can't remember my grandparents doing anything of the sort!

But as someone with an egg allergy, I'm just glad I wasn't there! LOL!

SandyCarlson said...

There's a lot of spirit in your family, and I love reading about what happens when that spirit is roused!

Lavinia said...

Good Lord! THis is a heck of a story! What a reminiscence....

YOu have a wonderful, colourful family history.....this story is going to passed down thru the generations!

Sarah said...

I have it on good authority that my mother once launched a pint of milk at my father....!

i beati said...

Wonderful memory - we were all so thrifty and I can still be , you ??

windycorner said...

I thought you were going to say she cooked a bad one for his breakfast, but what really happened is much funnier.
Holley

joan said...

Hi Sandi,

That is one great story. I can just picture it just like you told it. It's so great that you remember all of them.

Abbie said...

What a funny story!! Aint Sandie, trust you to always deliver, no wonder, see who's child you are!!

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

LOL!!!! Oh I loved that story! lol

Pat@Back Porch Musings said...

I love it Sandi. Great story/memory whatever. It made me smile, since I've been in a tomato fight or two!

KJ said...

This is HYSTERICAL!!! Oh, what I would have given to see that! My parents had regular tiffs, but all were memorable for non-funny reasons. Too bad someone didn't have an old movie camera.

Thanks for sharing! This made my day!

KJ

cheshire wife said...

Thank you for visiting my blog.

Wonderful story. Superbly written.

Sandy said...

You are so entertaining!!!
My mom was mad at me for being mean to my other sisters when I was in 9th grade and she had had enough - took an egg out of the fridge, cracked it over my head and told me to get over myself! Of course, my sisters laughed, I did not, ran upstairs, showered, fixed my hair and carried on. They still remind me of to this day - and they still laugh - I of course, do not!lol
Hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Blessings,
Sandy
PS I'm having a giveaway so if you have a chance come on over and check it out!

Jeanne said...

The experiences we have living in different parts of the country. Not living in such a rural area I find it different but the common thread is family and love. Funny story.

Dusty Lens said...

Now that's a great story! Wow, what a mess! LOL :)

Seamus said...

I'm LMAO at your egg tale!!

I remember my great aunt chasing my great uncle down the long drive to the road and beyond with a hot pan of bacon grease over some "indiscretion". My guess is it happened more than once!

Jay said...

There's something for you over at my place! :)

J.J said...

Brilliant story! I love your blog and must thank Jay for pointing me in your direction via her awards.

Lynn@ The Vintage Nest said...

What a delightful read! There's nothing worse to clean up than a dropped egg.

Babs (Beetle) said...

Ha ha! That is a very funny story. It would make a great sit com situation ha ha!

BeachysCapeCodCupboard said...

Oh my what a FUN story! I can only imagine what it must have been like to clean up that mess!

Thank you for visiting my blog today! =) Happy weekend!

KJ said...

You made me laugh with the "pusher of books" comment! That post was originally, as you probably already know, a Giveaway. I already had the Amazon widget on my blog because they pay you for referrals (which may not amount to a hill of beans.) So, for the time being, I am a book-pusher. There, I've said it. No 12 step program for me, boy of boy!

Have an incredible weekend!

KJ

Gill - That British Woman said...

oh to be a fly on the wall when that all happened. What a great story, thank you so much for sharing it with us all,

Gill

Denise said...

Don't you just love to let your mind go back to those days and remember the times of their lives..... I have so many wonderful memories of my grandmother and when I bring those to the forefront of my mind I smile!


Have a blessed weekend!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Great story Sandi - and so funny, can just imagine it. It's wonderful to think back and remember times like that. There's nothing like a good bit of reminiscencing (is there such a word)? Anyway, thanks for sharing.

A x

Wanda said...

Girl, look how popular your are! 48 posts at this writing! But it's no wonder. You tell such fun stories. Love 'em.

Wanda said...

Did I say "posts"? I meant comments. Sheesh.

Wanda

imbeingheldhostage said...

What a great story! I can't believe they never cracked (ooh, funny word choice) up over it. I can't imagine staying angry watching yellow slime ooze from my husband's face.

SnoopMurph said...

Hi Sandi,

This is a great blog and this egg story is an absolute riot!

I have to apologize as I just looked in on the blog that my friend and I share and noticed your comment about your father being from Quito too. I haven't been in a few years since having the boys, but hoping I can take them there when they are a little older.

I have you bookmarked now! Have a great weekend!

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Eggcellent tale! You do tell 'em well and sunnyside over. :-) H xx

NeereAnDear said...

Oh my dear Sandi ... I needed a laugh like this to lift my spirits... and you most certainly did.....

Lets hope you dont wake up with egg in your face cause if you do I would be running as fast as my legs could carry me!! woooo!!

LOTS OF HUGS

JO

Veggie Mom said...

And how angry was your Scottish grandpa for wasting all those eggs? What a funny story, Sandi. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!

the mother of this lot said...

Whata fantastic story! Reminds me of me and the Father of This Lot!

Mary Isabella and Kiley too! said...

I loved it. I too hope they are not carrying a basket of eggs because you will be covered in them. Such a cute story and you tell it so well. Blessings for a beautiful week...m..

CatHerder said...

hee hee hee...thats a GREAT STORY....when think of eggs, two things come to mind...my husband throwing an egg at me at my sisterinlaws engagement picnic, missing and hitting my brother in law to be's aunt from Italy...not funny then........and the day i came home from grocery shopping and my two toddlers were going through the bags...got awful quiet, and my youngest who was about 2 was sitting on the diningroom floor with the box of 2 dozen eggs...dont ask me how he got the plastic off of them, but he was throwing them at the WALLS!! too bad at that time there were no digital cameras, and the video camera wasnt handy...omg we still tease him to this day!

david mcmahon said...

You crack me up.

Jamie Dawn said...

Nothin' new here.
Dag nabbit!!!!
I'll check back.

:-)

The Sparrow's Heart said...

Sandi, I needed that! Oh, that was so hilarious.. LoL
xoxo Nita

Rambling Woods said...

Oh my goodness...That so sooo funny and you told it so well....Thank you for visiting my blog and telling me about the POTD

tlc illustration said...

This is really funny. A better (mis)use for eggs than the egging of our car parked on the street last night!